I’ve been looking forward to writing this blog. It’s so close to my own heart and the journey that I’ve been on with my own fertility, but it’s definitely been inspired by a gorgeous little fella that finally arrived safely last week.
It won’t be for everyone though. In fact it probably ought to come with a warning about it being a bit ‘out there’.
For me, that’s the essence and the beauty of this work. Having one foot well and truly in the medical, science camp and all things practical and physical, whilst the other is firmly rooted in intuition, instincts and yup, a little bit of magic thrown in for good measure!
For so many of my ladies, the struggle with fertility is very much physical. The challenge is about figuring out how to heal, re-balance and provide your body with what it needs to help find it’s way to pregnancy, and that’s everything.
Soul-full fertility doesn’t need to come in to the picture at all, but for some, it tuns out to be a really BIG part of the fertility quest.
It seems to push us in to connecting with ourselves, and with the essence of the baby that we are meant to conceive.
And it seems to open up spaces within you that are all about being ready to embrace what is your’s to receive, and being ready to do whatever it takes to bring your baby into your life.
Kate’s Story
For one of my ladies…lets call her Kate…it’s definitely been on one of those big, wild journeys that take you in to your intuition, your instincts and your soul’s learning.
When she got in touch in January last year, Kate was swamped with the grief of having been through two miscarriages. She’d also recently and tragically lost a close member of her family, and she was reeling.
This is what she wrote when she got in touch…
“Life has been very hard the last few years and I feel that our struggle is taking over my life and my personality. I feel lost. I just feel our lovely happy life is crashing down bit by bit. I feel it’s time that I do something to help myself and make it my journey not one the doctors dictate to me. I’m such a happy energetic person and I feel totally and utterly lost. I want me back, I want to feel like the happy bubbly me again and not have this consume my every thought. “
Sometimes…not always by any means…soul babies seem to do a little ‘Ta Da’!
It’s as if they want to make themselves known, even before they’ve been conceived, and that’s exactly what happened with Kate.
From the first time we talked online, I could feel a little boy around her, and he felt like the biggest bundle of joy, so giggly and happy, it made me smile every time we chatted.
I knew Kate was really instinctive and ready for this little one to come, but she was reeling not just from these losses but from the very real grief of not being able to conceive her baby in the way that she had hoped and longed for.
Male factor infertility meant that IUI with donor sperm was necessary, and even though I could feel this little boy with her, Kate wan’t feeling good about this being the way to her family.
It wasn’t that any of this was preventing her baby from coming, but it felt much more like this little one wanted her to have all the love and care she needed to feel good again before he arrived.
Grief is hard.
It just is.
It’s difficult to find your way back to yourself, it hurts so much to let yourself feel it all, and it takes serious amounts of love and self care to rise strong again, but she did. She took the time she needed, she told her friends what felt ok and what didn’t, unleashed what we came to call her kick ass super powers, and she let in the help and support healing her heart required.
On top of that, she went to all the places that her soul needed her to go. She explored the issues that were niggling or worrying her with so much courage and honesty, and she bravely had all the conversations that she needed to have, even when the answers weren’t everything she had hoped to hear.
It was like this little one was calling her on to find her peace with it all. To help her feel not only able to accept this path for her to reach her baby, but to know that it was EXACTLY right for her little one to come this way.
It didn’t happen straight away. It took time and she had to go through one more IUI before she became pregnant again, but she did and this time…one year on…this little bundle of happiness arrived safely into the world.
Finding the Path That’s right for you
So often, it seems these soul-full fertility journey’s draw you down a path that goes WAY beyond your comfort zone and into territories that you might well not ever have had the courage to explore had that call, that longing to a mum, not been as strong as it has.
The emotions and the fears that are all tied up with it get so big that at times it can feel like it’s the most impossible thing in the world to hear the small instincts that sit so quietly underneath it all.
It’s total magic. Miracle territory.
But at the same time it’s the most natural thing in the whole world.
Nothing extraordinary at all. It’s the part of you that’s always there…the 6th sense…the gut feeling that you’ve probably had so many times.
The essence inside you that just quietly lets you know that it can sense so much more than you are used to dealing with, and that ever so gently nudges.
What I find is that for some it seems to be tuning in with this instinct that brings in the connection with the children that are meant to find their way to be with you…and that it’s this same instinct that’s guiding you to your children whether the path is pregnancy, adoption, donor treatments or surrogacy.
There is no ‘right’ way with this epic journey.
Sometimes it seems to be the souls of the children themselves who are pushing for change within us.
Sometimes it seems to be the huge spiritual lessons that infertility can push us to explore.
And sometimes it seems to be all about the babes themselves.
Whatever the path, there is always support.
There when you need it, to dip in and out of in whatever way feels right for you.
With love,
Cath
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